2001-03-16 - 8:53pm

"Shoehorn"

a play in one act by GRILLO

========

Curtain opens.

The stage is dark but appears to be in 
interior of a liquor store. 

A radio plays a bad oldies station.

Two minutes or so pass. A bottle falls
from a shelf, crashing.

Another two minutes pass. Arguing of
some sort can be heard in the distance.
We hear the shouts get louder and a
woman screaming.

A minute passes.  A telephone
on a table rings nine times, then stops.

Another minute passes.

BUGBOY enters stage left. He is a slim
man wearing a grotesque papier-mache 
mask of a insectoid face, a tie-die
t-shirt, garish boxer shorts, big clompy
boots and yellow pulled-up socks. He 
sits on a wooden chair near center stage 
and plays with a sock monkey.

Two minutes pass as BUGBOY plays with
the sock monkey, and sings inanely in
a childish gurgling voice, "la la la",
"de de de de de", "doo de doo", etc.

Suddenly BUGBOY stands and faces the
audience.


				BUGBOY
		Gosh, how I love Klondike
		bars.

Pause.

		And drinking house paint.

the sound of a doorbell.

		I'LL GET IT!!!!!!

BUGBOY starts to get up from his chair 
but we hear a door open and NORTON THE 
SAILOR enters stage right, carrying
many plastic shopping bags filled with
raw fish and large vegetables. Some of
the bags are leaking and overflowing.

				NORTON
		Don't get up. I let myself
		in. Boy, are my dogs tired.

long pause.

				BUGBOY
		Who ARE you?

NORTON THE SAILOR opens his mouth to 
speak, but is interrupted by AUNT NUNU's
voice as she enters the stage down the 
stairs.

				AUNT NUNU
		Bugboy, honey, it's time
		for your supper. Wash up
		and don't forget to floss
		after you eat.

BUGBOY is clearly flustered and embarassed
at his Aunt's intrusion.

				BUGBOY 
                               (to NORTON)
		I'll deal with you later.

pause.

				NORTON 
                               (pleasantly)
		Tits!

BUGBOY stomps off stage right. 

NORTON takes BUGBOY's seat and begins 
reading a porn magazine.

Spotlight dims. Curtain closes.