2004-12-20 - 1:10 p.m.

Oh, you know me! "That Grillo", you always say, "he loves to chat!"

It's true, Grillo is a chattin' man. A very gregarious character, me. Me loves people and all their little quirks and foibles und me never gits tired of experiencing raw squirming humanity in its purest form: zoning out in front of a computer, probly with one hand on their wifflebat.

I, Grillo, have always been a proud pioneer in the exciting field of EXTREME FREE SPEECH. Yes, it's not easy being Grillo, nor is it easy being around Grillo. You see, the powerful mind of Grillo the Clown works in mysterious ways, and mine mouth doth emit most curious utterances from time to time, scathingly pure in their inanity. Most mere humans are incapable of withstanding the scalding hot TRUTHS that splooge forth from myself.

F'ristance, I might be chatting in a Christian Sex Addiction Counseling chat room, say, and strike up a friendly conversation with some hottie. When Grillo (me!) gets excited, there's always a tendency to suddenly start typing things like:

BooooooRAWPPP!! DING DONG! DING DONG!!! LURCH, GET THE GODDAMN DOOR WILL YA??? GOMEZ'S MUSTACHE IS STUCK IN THE BUZZARD AGAIN!!!!! PARFFGH!H!!! EE!! EE!!! DONT FERGIT TO WATER THE MONKEY, YOU CHUNDERING PUS-PASTE PETE, YOU!!!!

Now, I knows YOU can relate to that, but not all those who walk this planetoid are ready to hear such spiritual wisdom. Still, I provides it as a public service in my quest to enlighten this sad sphere. Like the Shilver Shurfer, I'm trapped here so I might as well make der most of it.