2004-03-11 - 7:46 p.m.

Damn, dog, the muppet-fuckin' future is upon us. And shit. Rilly doh.

Even when Grillio was a liddle kid boy and recreationally trippied by licking poisonous buggy powder off the potatio plants back on the farm, me could never have imagineered in a skadrillion years the techniological horrors that lurk just around the cornier.

DARPA, a gummint organizatium that Grillo has been tryin' to join for years (but they don't likey the way my ass smells), has unleashied a new human exo-skeleton that's straight outta Terminator, G. Basically, a soldier steps into this from-der-waist-down set o' robotic legs and spine, and not only can ye walk longer without gettin' tired, you can carry 100 pounds loaded on the spine-thing and it only feelses like five. Seriously, dude, check it, it's gold.

And then there's the furshlugginer centibots. The centibots fright me nocturnally. Me, Chief Grillo, who orften has lestoil flashbacks and sees little midgets with fruitbowls on they heads CRAWLIN' ALL OVER MY GODDAMN APARTMENT, feels skincrawly at the thought of der centibots. Imagine 100 little tiny shoebox-sized robots on wheels, kinda like them there Mars Rover geegaws. They drives around, can't be knocked over, they have electronic eyeball with camera thwackin' pictures all the while, they have supercomputer brains that is accessed remotely - meanin' that each bot doesn't need to contain a brain 'cause dey is all accessing the main brain back at HQ, wirelessly. These critters can be sent to roam the streets and cover any specific area with any specific task in mind, like tending human sheep, looking for snacks, or TAKING PICTURES OF MY SHIT. They can be outfitted with weapons. If they were turned loose in your neighborhood, they could completely control it like martial law just like that. Und if you, fer instance, blows one of dem up or otherwise disables one, the other bots immediately sense the gap in the grid and move out to fill the space left by the missing nazibot. IS YOU FURROWING YOUR BROW YET, POPS?